I had a couple of great conversations with friends last night about what I'm going through. The main thing I learned was that I deserve to be treated with respect, honesty, and integrity. Why would I want to be with someone who cheats on me and who I can't trust. It is love ! I'm a great person and I love my partner and have never cheated on him. I entered the relationship as a partnership where I was honest, trustworthy, and involved. For all his faults I have a deep love for him. It really hurts to know that while we are separated, instead of reflecting on how to make changes to the relationship to make it stronger, he is in Seattle pursuing another person.
I believe part of the issue is that he is insecure and may have low self esteem. I've tried to encourage him and build his confidence but I sacrificed part of myself in the process. He doesn't have many interests and I do. I love skiing, hiking, and traveling while he is content sitting at home. When we first met we did all these activities but then it slowly stopped. I guess I stopped doing them because I wanted to be with him. I didn't want to go hiking without him.
Today I go see my counceler. I am seeing 4 different people so I can get a wide range of insight. Most of these people are spiritual, metaphysical people. It really does help to talk it out but it is still tough. I had a hard time sleeping last night imagining what my partner was doing. Hoping the other person rejected him so he could feel my pain.
I believe in the Law of Attraction so I'm trying to manifest a great future for myself. I'm hoping this experience will bring me and my partner closer together if he is willing. If not then I'm hoping to meet an awesome guy in Seattle who treats me with respect, honesty, love, and kindness.
The day is young and the sun is out. I'm gonna start packing my stuff so the Universe knows that I am ready to move to Seattle and hopefully my house will sell quickly. Cheers !
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